Friday, June 20, 2008

My Word is All

Why doesn't anyone around here have a sense of humor? Sheesh.

I'm sorry! A screaming on-fire Cena is the fucking greatness!

Okay, look, I may have accidently left on the coffeepot (I have no thumbs, cut me a break!) and Cena was stupid enough to let his shirt catch onto the bottom of it it and be set on fire. And when Sindel came in and screamed as she saw his shirt go right up in flames, he did the 50 mile leap into the air with the best expression on his face ever. Either Cena or Mia doused the flames but I was too busy spitting up my coffee as I busted out laughing on the floor.

Oh man, it brought tears to my eyes. For real, that made my week.

Anyway, after Cena was checked to be okay, they berated me for not helping and laughing at Cena when he 'could've been seriously hurt'. Hurt my ass--I've been set on fire more times than I could count.

So Sindel sent me upstairs like some teenager! What the hell! I'm older than her! I'm her dad and she sent me upstairs?! Nuh uh. That ain't gonna cut it!

I think I'll set Cena's room on fire. That'll teach them not to treat me like a child...


Saturday, June 14, 2008

Just Me and Sindy

I'm an asshole, don't let anyone tell you different, but I like days when it's just me and Sindy hanging out and doing nothing together.

I think it's kinda cool when you can slam your own daughter/best friend at Uno. DRAW 6, SINDY!!! HAHAHAH!!! She threw the Uno cards at me and I ducked, making it fly everywhere all over the living room table and floor.

Then we watched The Sopranos together on the T.V. Of course, the T.V was acting up so I deleted Cena's Psych episodes. It worked better then.

We don't really watch Sopranos but the theme song is kick-fucking-ass.

Then we threw popcorn at each other for two hours. How so, you ask? Easy--when we ran out, we made some more. The whole living room was covered in that shit--5 inches, no lie. Then Sindel told the stupidest, funniest joke we've ever heard:

"Two muffins were sitting in an oven and one muffin turned to the other muffin and said, "It's hot in here, isn't it?" The other muffin looked at him and went "HOLY SHIT, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

We laughed about that for 5 hours. I think we have a gas leak or something because I think that joke is something you're supposed to get when you're high.

Cena and Mia came downstairs and saw us laughing on the living room floor that was covered in 5 inches of popcorn, Uno cards everywhere and the Sopranos theme song playing over and over again at full blast.

It was a great fucking day.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Bad Stuff

So yesterday, I'm chilling on the couch when Mia walks in the room and I greet her with my usual "What's the running price tonight, Mia?" when she got all pissy about it and promptly started to hit me with a random broom.

She must be PMSing bad so I shocked her until her hair turned black. Hahaha, it was great until Cena had to come in and break it up.

Now today, Mia took the beer from the kitchen that I was hoarding and smashed the bottles like a total fucking bitch! So I super-glued her ribbon straight to her head and she screamed as she was trying to redo it. I really wanted to help her but I was too busy trying to breathe from laughing so hard as some of her head become bald.

Sindy made me apologize so I made her a card that said "Get Fucking Lost" inside of it and I had to throw it away. I spent 30 minutes on the art alone on that card (it was a picture of Mia being bald). Sindel ruins my fun sometimes.

Otherwise, I spent all afternoon IMing Kirby on the Yahoo Messenger until Kirby mentioned how hot Mia was and I promptly booted his ass off YIM.

Now, what's the deal with UFS? I saw Cena making Sindy play that game a few days ago and I motherfucking hate that game. Not 'cause Cena's playing it or anything but 'cause it's so...stupid. I mean, come on, IT'S A CARD GAME. It's not supposed to be complex! I play poker and blackjack (and I'm a sucky player at it too) but it's not hard shit to recall.

Anyway, I hear Mia and Cena making out again so I'm going to go interrupt by dousing them in beer and using phrases in Spanish to piss Cena off--See ya.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

This Is Stupid

Man, I must be more drunk than I thought...

Stupid Sindel and her stupid fucking ideas....

Yeah, whatever, I'm Pikachu. Yeah, I'm a drunk. Deal with it. I'm the Kanto Champion and Tournament of Leagues Champ...I am the best Pokemon fighter out there and I'll damn well prove it if you disagree.

Anyway, I'm Sindel' friend...father thing. I dunno. She's not really my kid, I picked her up randomly on some street corner when she was 12 and I took care of her. Don't know why, I'm stupid like that.

Regardless, I'm very protective of Sindy. And of my beer but that's another story for another day.

My best friends are Yoshi and Kirby. Kirby is a playboy and Yoshi is a politician. I know, we're like a pod pack. We don't see each other as often as we'd like but shit happens, ya know?

Jesus, this keyboard is getting hard to see...anyway, Cena lives with Sindel at the castle (and lucky him, I'm keeping a close eye on that boy in case he gets too good of ideas about Sindel when she's walking around in a loose pair of jeans and a white T-Shirt). Mia is a bitch. That's all there is to know.

I live not too far from the castle but my internet sucks and I don't have a laptop (which I stole from Cena's room, haha). But I love storing my drinks in the castle and I do it so creatively too...

Anyway, I need to go lie down for a bit...I think the computer multiplied by 5 and Mia's the cause of it...